Being Free

 I sat down today and it took me a long time to decide what my first blog post was going to be about, to be honest I was so set on being all about making a you tube channel that conveyed what I have been through or more how I can help you not make as many mistakes or see something in you that maybe you haven't seen before. well I have no time for YouTube and editing so maybe later on ( as college consumes most of my life) however when I finally decided what I wanted to post about it hit me that it was a perfect first blog.

So the topic is being yourself or rather more being yourself all the time, I would say from the time I was in first grade clear until maybe senior year I had to repress who I was and I could never fully be myself around anyone except for my family and my close friends. I am a very excitable person and I'm loud and I tend to be too much for people sometimes or rather I used to be I would say and as it stands I got extremely sick of it. Hiding who I was just to please other people and their opinions of me when it never really mattered in the first place. I was never truly happy hiding behind a smile when inside I was truly sad and hurting, I might've even at one point been depressed. I don't know to be honest it was hard and I didn't fight back, I let people walk all over me. The day I realized it needed to stop. I need to stand up and shout " I am me damnit so shut up and leave me alone!" 

I didn't do that of course ( I was too chicken) but I did start letting more and more of the real me show and it felt great, however because I was repressed and hidden for so many years I didn't and still sort of don't know who I really am , but as this year progresses I am realizing that I am a strong, independent, and smart young woman who enjoys blogs, YouTube, college, reading, writing, and singing. letting the real me come out is so freeing and wonderful but to be honest if I hadn't repressed it and held it in for so long I can guarantee you I'd be one hundred times happier about myself and my life. If you are reading this and you feel like in order to be accepted and fit in and in order to make friends you have to "tone down" your personality and have "levels" to who you are as a person when you're around other people, STOP! There honestly is no need at all for this, you'll be a million times happier and free-er if you let the shell fall off and take down those walls and just break free, be you fly. Don't lie, don't repress to please others there honestly is no need. And I'm telling you now your friends you make when your being truly genuine, are truly genuine because they love you for you, all of it One Hundred percent! So be you all the time no matter what! And remember happiness is what you make it so be happy and be yourself, fly.........